when you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man
If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made
my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them
when youre walking past a dead body in a horror game and it suddenly comes back to life
Oh my god you can almost hear the pug’s screams.
im fucking crYIN G omfg
I will NEVER not reblog this. ONE OF THE BEST SNL SKITS THEY HAVE EVER DONE!!!
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut
I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin
you will never know which of these two statements reign true for people who reblogs this and that bothers me
you dont like the word breast??? ok we’re having chicken boobs for dinner
i want to kiss you and take cute pictures with you and go on stupid dates but I also want kill you for making me feel things
I’m convinced that all these posts were made by Draco Malfoy
once i was so high that i heard a drum beat and for a good fifteen seconds i thought that the events of the movie jumanji were about to happen to me
INTELLIGENCE IS NOT MEASURED IN YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF MATH